Dr. Gerrie - Blog

Fear

The bank I worked for was big on training, so they frequently sent me to workshops. I remember one workshop in particular because the instructor asked us to write down one of our fears and then decide what we could do to overcome it.

My fear was flying.

I had been flying most of my life, but I was always afraid the plane would crash. I think part of my fear came from not understanding how airplanes could stay in the air.

So I wrote down three things I could do to face my fear: ride in a hot air balloon, fly in a glider and go parasailing.

Now, I had absolutely no intention of doing any of them!

But I had put the idea into my consciousness.

First came hot air ballooning. My first ride was in Perris, California, and I loved it. Later, I went ballooning over the wine country in France and then over a suburb of San Diego. There was almost no sense of movement. It was just pure fun.

A few years later, I decided to try a glider.

Gliders are small and very confined. I sat in the front with the pilot behind me. A tow plane pulled us into the air, and the pilot actually let me release us from the tow plane.

I remember asking him, "Are you sure you want me to do this?"

Apparently, he was!

Years later, I took another glider ride. This time I even asked the pilot to stall the plane. After all that, I decided gliding wasn't nearly as glamorous as the movies made it look.

Then came parasailing in Puerto Vallarta.

That was definitely the scariest of the three.

I thought I had to hold on the entire time and didn't realize I was safely strapped in. I held on so tightly that my fingernails dug into my hands. It wasn't until I was coming down that the guys told me I could let go.

When I landed, people on the beach came over and told me how brave I was.

I'm glad I did it.

Would I do it again?

Probably not!

But here's what I learned.

Before all of this, I would have two drinks before getting on an airplane and another two drinks during the flight.

Today, I may still have some fearful thoughts when I fly, but fear doesn't control me the way it once did. I ask God, my Higher Self or the Universe to protect the plane, the pilots and everyone on board—and then I trust.

Facing a fear doesn't necessarily mean the fear completely disappears.

It means you stop letting the fear make your decisions for you.

I faced mine and discovered it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined.

What fear is keeping you from doing something you really want to do?

Maybe it's time to face it.

Until next time, Dr. Gerrie

Inspire • Awaken • Transform

Perception

Perception is personal. Two people can look at exactly the same thing and see something completely different.

I learned this on my first Mediterranean cruise.

One of our stops was Egypt. We docked in Alexandria and took a bus to Cairo. The ride was over an hour, and I spent most of it looking out the window.

I felt as though I were watching Egypt through the centuries. In some places, it seemed as if time had stood still.

I was fascinated.

The next day we went to Israel. I had a very different reaction. When our tour reached Jerusalem, the guide pointed to a place and said, "This is where Jesus died."

My first thought was, How do they know this is the exact place?

Instead of feeling inspired, I felt disappointed.

Later at lunch, people from our group talked about how clean Israel was compared with Egypt.

I hadn't even thought about that.

They saw cleanliness. I saw history.

Neither experience was necessarily right or wrong. We were looking at these places through our own interests, expectations and perceptions.

Another example happened at the end of the cruise.

We arrived in Venice and took a bus to Milan. There were about forty of us waiting to check into our hotel. My girlfriend and I decided we'd rather get something to eat than stand in line.

We sat down at the restaurant, ordered a glass of wine and started talking with the waiters.

Eventually, the rest of our group came into the restaurant. They were tired and grumpy and seemed to complain about everything.

My girlfriend and I were having a completely different experience.

We were laughing and enjoying ourselves with the staff. Everyone else eventually left, but we stayed. We were having so much fun that the chef finally came out and ate with us!

Same restaurant. Same staff. Completely different experience.

Was the difference the restaurant?

Or was it perception?

Our perception was that we were going to relax and enjoy ourselves. The others were tired and frustrated, so everything seemed to bother them.

Life is often like that.

We see what we're looking for.

If we're expecting problems, we tend to notice problems. If we're looking for something interesting, enjoyable or positive, we're much more likely to find it.

Think about your own life.

How much of what you experience is influenced by the way you choose to look at it?

Change your perception, and you may be surprised by how much your experience changes with it.

Positive attracts positive.

Until next time, Dr. Gerrie

Inspire • Awaken • Transform

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

When the movie The Big Chill came out, I went to see it. In the opening scenes, a man is being dressed, and we soon realize he is the deceased character played by Kevin Costner. Then the scene moves to a church, where a choir begins to sing.

I started laughing because I immediately recognized the song—The Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

It has always been one of my favorite songs, and its message became something of a mantra for me.

Sometimes we don't get what we want because God—the Universe, our Higher Self, or whatever you choose to call it—may have something else in mind. We can't always see it at the time.

I learned that lesson during my banking career.

I was working for a bank that I knew was going downhill, so I sent my résumé to several headhunters. Eventually, I interviewed with another bank.

I had a first interview. Then a second. Then a third.

I really thought I was going to get the job.

Then the headhunter called. It had been a difficult decision, but they had chosen the other candidate.

I was disappointed, but I wasn't going to stop there.

I sent my résumé to friends who worked at other banks and eventually received a call for another interview. I thought the interview went well, but afterward I heard nothing.

Three months went by.

Then, unexpectedly, they called and asked me to come in for another interview.

They explained that when I had originally interviewed, the position was only an idea. They had needed time to develop it and get approval.

This time, they offered me the job.

And it wasn't just another banking job.

They wanted me to start a Personal Banking Center.

That position turned out to be exactly what I needed. It showed me that I could successfully make the leap from one bank to another, and it gave me greater confidence in myself.

Looking back, I understand something I couldn't see when I was rejected for that first job.

I didn't get what I wanted. I got what I needed.

How many times has something like that happened in your own life?

At the time, a disappointment can feel terrible. We wonder why something didn't work out. We may even think we've failed.

But sometimes the answer isn't no.

Sometimes it's not this—there's something better ahead.

So don't stop going after something because you're discouraged.

And don't deny your feelings, either. If you're unhappy or disappointed, acknowledge it. Have your "woe is me" day if you need one.

Then dust yourself off and start again.

You never know what's waiting around the next corner.

Sometimes, when life doesn't give us what we want, it may be leading us toward exactly what we need.

Until next time,
Dr. Gerrie

Inspire • Awaken • Transform